I want YOU to pick me up!

I have been really struggling lately. I feel like I am running in circles and doing everything a little subpar....I am late for work nearly every morning, but I try to take the kids to school, I am late getting home even thou I leave work early to get home and Amelia & Roman want me to pick them up from school. If they only could understand that I would have to leave work at 1pm to pick them up...and that is only a few hours after I get there because remember I am late getting there. I ask myself what is the point of this? Work? Commuting? I don't mind work. Actually, I enjoy it - I get up put on my makeup, put on something with a zipper (although frustrating), and have time to drink a full commuter cup of coffee. I mean I do like the time I have to pay bills while I am at work, call a friend, wrote a post, do some work, go pump, do some more work, have lunch, little bit more work, pump again, one more phone call, little bit more work and head home. I don't mind my job. I work with fun people, good friends actually. However, as I get connected to my breast pump for the second time of the day and try to figure out how I will convince the kids to pick out their clothes for the next day because I was sure that is why I was a half hour late. As I sit in some vacant office trying to remember if I locked the door before I turned on this life sucking machine, I tell myself that I am ok, the kids are ok, there are other mothers who can volunteer in the classroom, I am setting an example for my girls, women fought hard for this opportunity I have, if Borys walked out on me tomorrow like Jeff did to my sister, I would be able to survive. Every woman should have their own money - that is what my mom tells me - I do. Good thing - right? I guess. However, then I think of how I felt when I was in Elementary School....my mom was home.

I left work early today...to pick Amelia and Roman up. I surprised them. It was a special treat. I do know that if I stayed home with them all the time I am not as focused on them - strange, but for now I will just have to leave work early a few times a week. It is worth it because the look on their faces was priceless!